Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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