i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
