Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
