why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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