I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Panties = found
Randomize
