You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
