I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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