matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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