Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
