i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
