spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
