Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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