Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
