My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
