Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
