apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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