Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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