I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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