I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
