just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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