Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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