I think my vagina is haunted
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
