i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
