How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Please, let me fuck your mom
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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