69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
