I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
