I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
