I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
