my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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