She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Enjoy the penises
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dear god my vagina.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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