i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
