"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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