These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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