Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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