I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
