Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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