The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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