she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
