I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
