He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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