he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
