Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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