Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just high enough for therapy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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