I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I need moral support for this bender
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
