who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
