Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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