I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
