I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You are a genius and a whore.
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