your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
