I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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