you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
