South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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