this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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