i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
